CAREGIVER RESOURCES
Caregiving is Pro-Life!
"Most caregivers don't even
think of themselves as caregivers...
They often slide into the role. But caregiving comes with a whole
host of responsibilities that go way beyond being a wife, a huband,
a daughter or a son." (Eugene McClory, Coordinator of the
Caregiver Assistance Network for Catholic Social Services
of Southwestern Ohio)
"Over the years I've had the
privilege to know many strong Catholic
families raising children with disabilities. The parents understand
through direct experience how precious every human life is, no matter
how burdened by special problems and needs. Their witness of love
is extraordinary, but it isn't easy..."
(Archbishop Charles J. Chaput, O.F.M. Cap.)
[The following information
Principles of Catholic Caregiving and the
Spirituality of Caregiving is from Friends of St. John the Caregiver,
www.FSJC.org P,O, Box 320 Mountain
Terrace WA 98043 (c) 2007]
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Principles of Catholic Caregiving
You're now being given the opportunity, the challenge, to "honor" your mother and father, love your spouse, to care for your child or friend in a new, different and more demanding way. Caregiving is pro-life. The "culture of life" includes providing care for a loved one who is sick, elderly, disabled or frail. A cornerstone of respect for human life is compassionate care for the most vulnerable among us at all the stages of life, from the moment of conception until natural death.
The Spirituality of Caregiving
Caring for a loved one is a vocation, a calling from God. It's a mission and a role a caregiver accepts in the name of love and it is Love itself who accompanies both the caregiver and the care-receiver on this journey. An awareness of the presence of God, fostered by a turning to both formal and informal prayer helps you offer loving and compassionate care.
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Caregiving may be new role for you. It might have happened suddenly - your loved one had a stroke, was in an accident, or was discharged from the hospital still needing extensive care. Or it might have been gradual - he or she over time has come to depend on you more and more.
God has asked you, just as Jesus asked St. John, to take care of someone he loves. More than an assignment, it's a calling. Truly a vocation.
No matter how you arrived at this point, no matter what your particular responsibilities and concerns have become, you may find it helpful to realize, or to consider once again, that there is a spiritual component to caregiving. To pause for a moment and make the conscious decision to be your loved one's caregiver. To accept this role. To acknowledge this God-given vocation. God has asked you, just as Jesus asked St. John, to take care of someone he loves. More than an assignment it's a calling. Truly, a vocation. Like St. John at the foot of the cross, you now have the opportunity to answer yes to God's invitation to care for one of his beloved sons or daughters.
Our faith tells us, and our loving God assures us, you're not alone in this often challenging and overwhelming - and at times even frightening - mission. The One who asked you remains with you, day and night. More than merely by your side, he alone can be in your mind, your heart and your soul, ready to offer you comfort, support and strength to handle the daily challenges of caregiving. All you need to do is ask. But amid the hectic day-in and day-out tasks of caring for a loved one, sometimes it takes effort, it takes a conscious and deliberate decision, to stop, if only for a moment, and become more aware of the presence of God. No matter what time it is, no matter where you are, no matter the circumstances, he is there. The love you offer to your aging parent, spouse, family member or friend is always accompanied by God's infinite for that person - and for you.
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A Caregiver's Prayer Heavenly Father, help me better understand and believe I can do what you ask me to do. Forgive me for the times, even now, when I question your judgment. As I go about the many daily tasks of caregiving, give me energy. As I watch my loved one oh-so-slowly walk across the room, give me strength. As I answer his/her repeated question just one more time, give me patience. As I look for solutions to whatever is the most recent concern, give me wisdom. As I reminisce with him/her about the "good old days", give me a moment of laughter. As I get to know my loved one in a new way, seeing both his/her strength and frailty, give me joy. As I sit beside my loved one's bed waiting for him/her pain medication to take effect, give me comfort. Lighten my burden, answer my prayer and give me the strength to do what so often seems impossible. Give me a quiet place to rest when I need it and a quieting of my anxieties when I'm there. Change my attitude from a tired, frustrated and angry caregiver to the loving and compassionate one I want to be. Remain my constant companion as I face the challenges of caregiving and when my job is through and it's time for me to let gom help me remember he/she is leaving my loving arms to enter your eternal embrace. Amen. |
10 New Year's Resolutions for Family Caregivers
Don't beat yourself up because you aren't "perfect" at caregiving. (None of us is perfect at anything!)
Remember that even if you can't take a big break, little breaks help too. Even five or ten minutes in the middle of a long day or seemingly endless night.
Tell your spouse and children you're not mad at them. It's just that "I've used up all my nice." Tell them what you want: alone time, a hug, chocolate.
Don't hesitate to ask for - or even demand - help.
Forgive yourself for the times you've lost your temper. (That can be harder than asking another for forgiveness! It's good to do that too.)
Enjoy, relish! the joyful moments with your care-receiver.
Admit that what you're doing is hard. It is.
Remember that your loved one's condition may become worse, that he or she may die, but it's not your fault.
Pray. (Yelling at...Speaking loudly at God can be a prayer that comes straight from the heart.)
Know that you're not alone, even though at times you feel lonely. God has asked you to do this and you've accepted his invitation. He's with you always. Right here. Right now.
What is a Caregiver?
It is probably a role you never envisioned for yourself---that of a family caregiver. Very few people plan on taking on the care of an ill or aging parent, a suddenly disabled spouse or a disabled child, but fate has a way of making plans for you. And now that you are in the role, realize that you are not alone. An estimated 18 to 25 million adults in the U.S. are caring for a chronically ill or disabled loved one - that's close to 10% of the adult population. The vast majority of family caregivers are women between the ages of 40 to 59. Most are not getting consistent help from other family members, and are trying to juggle care for their ill loved one with other responsibilities to their children, spouse and work.
Family caregivers are the invisible underpinnings of our health care system. They provide 80% of all home care services. A major national study valued the family caregiver's un-reimbursed help at nearly $200 billion a year.
The 25+ million people who receive their long term care from family caregivers suffer from debilitating, chronic diseases: from strokes to leukemia, cancer to multiple sclerosis; diseases of aging like Alzheimer's and dementia; paralysis or spinal injuries; congenital disabilities or long-term consequences of accident or injury. Together, they represent more than one in every four families in America.
If family caregiving was an industry with 25 million workers and a $200 billion payroll, the family caregiving industry would be the biggest single employer in the country. Because they are 25 million individuals facing 25 million unique and different challenges at different times in their lives, caregivers are often alone, uncounted, and unaided.
"Source: 1998 National Report on the Status of Caregiving in America"
You might just be a caregiver
...If you have your parent's pharmacy on
speed-dial.
...If you know where the best free parking is around the hospital.
...If you have a favorite MUZAK tune while being kept on hold.
...If you don't have the time or the energy to sweat the small stuff.
...If you pray for caregivers every day.
FREE - THE LITTLE BOOK OF CAREGIVER PRAYERS
Small size fits easily into a purse or
pocket. Large print means tired eyes can read the prayers without strain.
Send a self-addressed stamped envelope to FSJC (Friends of St. John the
Caregiver), P.O. Box 320, Mountlake Terrace, WA 98043
HELPFUL LINKS
Caregiving.com
Praying Advent While Caring for Our Parents
Catholic Senior Spirit
The Dollar
Store
Bonus
Birthdays
Doctor Grandma
Connecting Caregivers
Caregiving Resources
The
Family Caregiver
Your Aging Parent
Catholic Caregivers
Friends of St. John the Caregiver
More caregiving links
Sites and
Resources
Spirituality
Topics
Caregiver Stress
- FAQ
Caregiver
Resources - USA.gov
Praying
with Someone Who Has Alzheimer's Disease
Bringing
Elder Care Home
Central MA Family Caregiver Support Program
Elder Services of
Worcester Area, Inc.